“Earrings Before the Outfit” and other Habits that are Hard to Break…

I have a terrible habit and it’s a very OLD habit. In fact, it’s become my shopping “motto”.

Me, in black button earrings and
matching yellow/black plaid pants.

          When I need a new outfit, first I go find the jewelry I want to wear, and then I work it from there.

Unfortunately, this motto of mine has spilled over into my writing. But first, let me explain how this started…

I’m blaming it on the 1980s.

Shucks, I might as well place all the burden of my problems on the Deb stores. Remember those?  In the ‘80s they had the best of the fads. Stripes and dots, sugary-colored pants and shirts, dresses with big ties or bows--Sound familiar?

The problem was I couldn’t really afford every outfit I craved or “needed” to pass as a fashion-savvy teenager.

It wasn’t that I didn’t have jobs. I had money. But I wasn’t up to spending it all frivolously on frocks that I knew were going to be in one minute and out the next.

Instead, I flittered across the mall to the next place I’m going to blame—Claire’s. You know this store, with the fashionably-cheap jewelry. I can’t think of a single time I’ve been in a mall that didn’t have one of these chain stores.

At Claire’s, I could always afford a pair of earrings. ALWAYS. The earrings represented the inspiration for my next, best outfit. And thus, my motto became: If I have the right earrings, I’ll find the perfect outfit to go with them!

My motto has worked for me for decades! In fact, sometimes if I’m lucky, I can find TWO outfits to match a lovely piece of costume jewelry. (Jewelry hording is a completely separate story…)

The motto worked until now.

What started as a simple phrase became a way of thinking. If it worked to buy earrings first, maybe it would work to by the floor mats before the car? Maybe if I had the right pots/pans before I tried the recipe? And what about that story I’m writing?—Put a title down first, then write it.

See my problem?

Titles don’t work that way. In fact, I’m not sure exactly how they work. I’m completely stuck on this now and it’s tearing my entire thought process of the past 30 years to shreds!

For all my WIPs, I started my writing with a few basic things—characters, problems and working titles. In the past, this formula worked. But now, it doesn’t.

In fact I hate the working title of my current story. HATE it! But like those earrings I bought last week and then the outfit I bought to go with them, I’m having a hard time trashing it.

I’m a mental mess!

In my mind, there is the irrational fear that if I get rid of the title, my story is going to have to change somehow.  And as I’m finishing up my revisions, I know that this is probably true.

The story has changed.

As much as it feels like I’m giving up my “inspiration” for this story, I’m going to have to find a new “match” to accessorize it with.

Besides, as we all know, the outfit is always more valuable.

Writers out there, what would you do?

For me, I think it’s time to go shopping…

Mind, Body, Soul and Spirit--I Work Out!

 

Waking up at 4:45 a.m. to throw on a pair of shorts, a sports tank and tennis shoes to go workout with a  boot-camp instructor (one that I love intensely because she scares the hell out of me) can test one’s personal motivation and dedication each and every day.

     Take today for instance, I set two alarms. One for 4:30; one for 4:45.

     The first alarm is purely symbolic. I will not get up at 4:30 a.m. I simply refuse. I set the first one as a reminder that the second one will be coming soon afterwards.

     Once the first alarm goes off, I start my “mantra”. The chorus to Kelly Clarkson’s “What Doesn’t Kill You” starts playing in my mind.

     Then the second alarm rings. The “stronger” part of the song is what makes me sit up. I repeat it out loud.

     I don’t know about the majority of the world, but I can’t see through the crud covering my eyes when I wake up. I trip over things, I walk into walls and by the time I have everything gathered and I am heading out the door, I feel like I’ve already had a morning workout. But I know by now that this is just the beginning. My guru, Reggie, will make us work hard! And it’s all worth been it because I can see the results. I started this journey sometime around January and I am stronger.

     Which is partially my point.

     Yesterday was the end of a weekend writing retreat. My first retreat in solitude. I have been to writing conferences, listened to speakers, critiqued and had my own work critiqued in various small groups, but I have never been to a retreat in which time was completely mine to manage. I could read, sleep, write, draw. Basically, I was the instructor of my own writing workout.

     After working a couple hours the first day with a critique group, I focused on revising a manuscript that I know has promise. Although I didn’t meet the goal I had set for myself, I was astonished at how much I accomplished.

     Recently I read an article by Jody Hedlund on her website about figuring out when you are finished revising, editing and ready to submit your work. She suggested making it through each of her five points.

     If you had asked me at this time two years ago if I could make it through that list, no way. Last year, I was getting close but I still didn’t feel strong enough.  After reading the article and coming back from writing intently all weekend, I am now ready.

     Which brings me back to my morning workouts. Writing isn’t so different than my time at the gym. Had I expected to hold a plank the first week I attended boot camp? Could I dead lift without tipping over? No. And neither was I ready as a writer to submit my work without building the strength, core confidence and revising/editing endurance that it take to get a manuscript in shape.

     In all endeavors, I believe there is a part of each of us that feeds our negative selves saying things like, “Your arms are still flabby! Straighten your pose!” and “You use to way too many adverbs!” However, we have to keep at it. Giving up, stopping in the middle, skipping our morning workouts (physical and writing) adds fuel to that furnace of self-doubt.

     I challenge you to set step-by-step goals, work towards them and don’t give up. Whether they are mental, physical, spiritual or personal goals, when you realize you can check each of those off your list as “accomplished”, you will be transformed and a stronger person for it.